How To Deal With Stress

“Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet” ~ Unknown

Breathe in, breathe out.

Count to ten. A million times.

Write a letter. Pick just one letter from A – Z and mail it. The recipient will be both elated and puzzled.

While in the shower, stuff a wash cloth in your mouth and scream. Just make sure it’s clean and suds free.

Have a gin & tonic and smoke a Cuban. A cigar not person. The neighbors might complain if you smoke a real Cuban.

Bake a brownie man with nuts and bite him where it hurts. Blog about it.

Stand outside the trailer of the old crazy woman who is seducing your cat with sirloin steak and all the catnip he wants and announce through a bull horn: We know he’s in there. Release the cat and no one gets hurt.

Take a walk.

Take a drive.

Take a Drive

Catch a frog. Just don’t kiss it or lick it unless you like to gamble. Odds are you will end up with warts on your tongue, on a psychedelic trip back to the 60s, or a prince. The question is, are you feeling lucky?

Wear a tiara while doing errands. Talk with a Cockney accent and Introduce yourself as The Duchess of Dirt. Blog about it.

Send yourself flowers and act surprised when they arrive.

Buy some feathers and styrofoam from your local craft store and tell people it’s Top Secret. Attach the wings you made and exit the house wearing nothing but a bathing suit and goggles. Announce you are going flying. Leap off the porch stairs. Frolic around the yard. Come back in and announce weather conditions are not permitting you to take off. Blog about it.

I Wait

Soak in a long, hot bath until you look like a stunt double for a California Raisin Man. Dry yourself off singing I Heard it Through the Grape Vine.

Get a pedicure, a manicure and a wrap. Do NOT get a hair cut. This will just cause more undue stress the morning after.

Eat anything made with lots of sugar, preservatives and words you can’t pronounce.

Dress in a tutu and take up archery. Call yourself Cupid and shoot imaginary arrows at people passing by. Blog about it.

Take Up Archery

Lay down in the snow and make a snow angel. Lay down in the grass; just make sure no one is in the process of mowing it.
Look at the blue sky and white clouds and know. Look at the stars far away and know.
Know that you are not alone. Know that the blues are not the only color in life. Know that somewhere, someplace, someone wishes they only had it as good as you do — even with all the craziness and sometimes sadness in day to day living.
Know you are blessed. Know you are loved. Blog about it.


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58 Responses to How To Deal With Stress

  1. Kate{Starr Family} January 31, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    I love this post! Just love, love, love it!

    Thank you for this!

  2. Anne January 31, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    I love this post! I have always wanted to smoke a Cuban cigar! Hee Hee! I don’t even smoke! This post made me feel stress free! Hugs and much love Anne

  3. Dee January 31, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

    Oh my God!!! I love you. This is SO funny. I now have months worth of blogging ideas. My dilemma is which to do first. It may be a little too cold to dress in the the tutu this week or the bathing suit and goggles. But Im totally there with the tiara and accent at my local stuffy, nose in the air supermarket. Stay warm & safe ~ Dee

  4. Colleen January 31, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

    This has GOT to be the best advice …EVER :-) Love love love are a nut..but I really love this..and possibly you ;-D

  5. Sara January 31, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    I so love this (and am totally ready to be the “Dutchess of Dirt” for my next errand run!).

  6. Maggie January 31, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

    I just love the way you write. I know you are feeling down, but you still brought a smile to my face. I want to do the flying. I think that would be fun. I could jump off the front deck stairs in my tutu and wings wearing a tiara. LOL! I definitely would blog about that. No pictures though please!

  7. Beth@A2Z January 31, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

    Perfect post at the perfect time :). Loved it! Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

  8. ain't for city gals January 31, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    Deborah, You best post EVER….and I have read everyone of them! Ok…maybe except the Haiti one, and the one about Buster and the one about your nephew and the one about……blog about it…you go girl!

  9. Anonymous January 31, 2011 at 10:48 pm #

    So glad I read your post today.
    I am so stressed with my sisters’ ( sometimes we just disagree about everything)
    and this helps.
    I love the one about the bathing suit and goggles, leaping off the porch stops.
    Bless You,

  10. Claudia@DipityRoad January 31, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

    Oh my dear friend. Exactly what I needed to read.

    I have decided that I will spend this next year writing a book for my sister’s granddaughter and children that will come. They will need to know the wonderfulness about her. Having boys, I am not sure they will know or heard her story. Perhaps this will be the first time they really pay attention… but I know with people like you to give me the kick in the pants I need — I will be able to make this memory for HER.

    I adore you … you make my heart happy my friend.

    Thank you for your words for the world and for you kind note you sent.


  11. Victoria January 31, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    What an awesome post. I might just take you up on some of these.

    Thanks for the smiles.


  12. Parsley January 31, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    HAHAHA! I love it! And…take some of your advise and contact a friend (me) if you ever need to un-stress.

  13. Jayme, The Coop Keeper January 31, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Perfect timing my blog friend. PERFECT timing. I’m breathing. xoxox

  14. Dawn January 31, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    LOL! Are you talking to MOI? How did you get to be so smart? Do Brownie men come in a low cal version? Thank you for making my day.

  15. Corey Villicana January 31, 2011 at 11:55 pm #

    This is just wonderful!!!! Thank you Deborah. xoxo

  16. Missy February 1, 2011 at 4:02 am #

    Oooh, I want a tiara and feathered wings! :) You’re a nut, you know that?! lol I could see myself doing a few of those things….then blogging about it.
    Have a good day sweet lady
    Missy :)

  17. Judith February 1, 2011 at 4:04 am #

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Thank you for sharing with us, even when you’re down. And a very personal thank you for this post, which is exactly what I needed right now.


  18. Kathleen February 1, 2011 at 4:27 am #

    Deborah: Thank you for the smiles. I hope you have a smile too.

  19. Stephenie from Decorating Addiction February 1, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Love this Deborah. It made me laugh out loud and is such a good perspective on the stress that inevitably comes our way in life. Hope you’re well.

  20. Emily February 1, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    HaHaHa! Okay, this is my favorite post EVER! Especially the part where it says, “write a letter, pick one from A-Z” LOL

  21. Flower Patch Farmgirl February 1, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Oh, this is just perfection! Hilarious perfection!

  22. Pondside February 1, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    I may print this off and work my way through it.

  23. Marianne@Songbird February 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    Well if that doesn’t give me enough ideas to start feeling better I don’t know what will. Great post, great pictures. Thanks for that.

  24. laura @ the shorehouse February 1, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

    This post is really all kinds of awesome. I’m wondering if I have enough cocoa in my cupboards for Op Brownie Man or if I should stop at the store on the way home. Hmmm….

    I’m with Pondside. Let’s all print it out and work through it! :-)

    And p.s. I also LOLd (really) at your brilliant suggestion that Dapper Dan (I’ve named him) winked at the atrocity of discovering an olive in my margarita.

  25. 1 Funky Woman February 1, 2011 at 5:55 pm #

    You are darling! I’m pretty sure my favorite is bake a brownie man and bite him where it hurts. I feel better already just thinking about it!

    So awesome I might have to print this off and hang it on the fridge!


  26. Sue @Rue Mouffetard February 1, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    I’m all about getting de-stressed…as my life seems to be one big stress ball….lunch out with the girls usually works…a piece of cheesecake Always Works….
    When I was at daughters last she was not feeling well so I suggested she get into a big bathtub (she has a big old claw foot tub)…bubbles up around her neck….feet sticking out the bottom of the bubbles….so I went and got Miss B’s crown and put in on her head….and then I took a picture….I can’t say it made her feel better but it did make for a good picture!

  27. Kim @ Twice Remembered Cottage February 2, 2011 at 12:26 am #

    Deborah, this post was amazing! I loved every word of it – especially the part about wearing a tiara while running errands! I want to get myself one now! The pictures to accompany your post are just perfect. A beautiful entry… these ideas would definitely lighten the stress in anyone’s life!

  28. designchic February 2, 2011 at 9:21 am #

    What a terrific post…funny and witty. Puts life in perspective…thanks for sharing!!

  29. Alaina February 2, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    Some really great ideas, a few I think I may just remember reading about. I am thinking about sending myself the flowers, white ones in fact. I hope some of your stress is being relieved knowing YOU made someone laugh today!

  30. Anna Poole February 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    You know how much I love this post. I’ll need to refer to my own personal version of it often, here in the next several weeks.

  31. Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality February 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    Deborah, sweet post, I think a lot of us are feeling stressed right now. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I can feel the prayers and support for all of you out there right now & it is just what I need this week. I’m working through my stuff and I know that the Lord will see me through. I’m counting on Him! Thanks for being so sweet and supportive, my friend. xoxo

  32. Janean February 3, 2011 at 11:06 am #

    okay, you made me spew coffee all over my desk!!!!!

    ……….think i’ll blog about it.


  33. Maureen February 3, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Fabulous list, friend!

    The Duchess of Dirt

  34. melissa @ the inspired room February 3, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    Such a cute post!!! Love it. :-) Hang in there, love your suggestions!!

  35. Eddie Ross February 3, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    It is always key to remember “breath in, breath out”… everything will work out! Thanks for the reminder on stress.
    Be sure to stop by our blog to see the latest post on the window display we did!
    Happy Thursday,

  36. Laura Ingalls Gunn February 3, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    I SO needed to read something funny~ it’s been one of those weeks.

    I think I may just strap on my tiara and go to the grocery store.

    Although I would prefer to introduce myself as the Duchess of Decor. :)

  37. andrea February 3, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    You always right so beautifully Deborah…this post is wonderful…but you said I wouldn’t cry if I came for a visit. I did cry…a lot when I read the previous post about your wonderful nephew. I’m so sorry for you and your whole family…my prayers are with you all.

  38. Zuzu February 4, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    I wish I lived next door. The things we could DO together!!!

    yer crazy pal,

  39. Holly February 4, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    That made me laugh! I think I’ll send the link to my sisters.

  40. Leslie, the Home Maker February 4, 2011 at 6:57 pm #

    you made me laugh so hard i wet my pants. no, i’m not blogging about it!
    i just love you!!

  41. Paula February 5, 2011 at 7:08 am #

    I’m not so good at dealing with stress! Running and pounding tennis balls is what saves me most of the time.

  42. Bella Michelle February 5, 2011 at 11:10 am #

    Love this post!!!! I stopped by from Amanda’s Weekend Bloggy Reading party to say hi and so glad I did. Now, off to read more of your blog and hope you will stop by to say hi!

  43. Ashley Jackson February 5, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    I LOVE this post! Oh my word, so much! This part was one of my fav’s “Wear a tiara while doing errands. Talk with a Cockney accent and Introduce yourself as The Duchess of Dirt. Blog about it” It inspires the child in me and makes me laugh inside as everyone wonders whats gone wrong while all the while it is really, it’s finally RIGHT! So glad you stopped by my blog, I was very inspired by your writing and am following!

  44. Angie February 5, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    I have not laughed this hard in a LONG time!! Thank you so much for making my day!!!

  45. Dawn February 5, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

    hahaha-thank you for the chuckle! i needed it right now-i just escaped to the computer for a few minutes because my kids are sooooo whiney-so just what i needed!!

  46. Maggie Mallard February 5, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

    How funny and wonderful is this post. Glad you shared it with us.
    Come by and enter my giveaway if you get a moment

  47. Frisbee February 6, 2011 at 12:59 am #

    I was sitting on twitter trying to find something to cure my boredom – and ZAP – somebody I follow tweeted this post. Now, I am not quite as bored. Thanks for posting great material

  48. Amanda @Serenity Now February 6, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    It was my pleasure to feature this post. :) So funny!! Laughing alone is a great stress reliever! Thanks so much for joining my Weekend Bloggy Reading party. :) Have fun finding some new reads, and I hope you’ll stop by Serenity Now again soon. :)

  49. pam robinson February 6, 2011 at 11:11 pm #

    i am sooo happy to have found you… this is truly one of the very best posts i have ever read.
    many blessings to you… i will love reading more. xx pam

  50. Megan February 10, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    Great post–thanks for dropping by to visit me and letting me know I’m not alone with the blues.

  51. Susie Harris February 10, 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    Hug a friend…even if its through the computer (((hugs))).

  52. DE February 17, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

    Wow love your post! Blessings, DE

  53. fadetovintage February 18, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    Your post is FAB_U_LOUS!!!! You made me laugh so hard, THANK YOU, I needed that!
    Love your blog!
    Have a lovely day.

  54. Judy February 18, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    Oh my goodness! All I can say is “Thanks! I needed that!” Excellent advice.

    Thanks for stopping by my place to say hello.


  55. Barn House March 1, 2011 at 3:30 am #

    THIS makes a lot of sense. THIS is what blogging is about. THIS is real!

    Thank you, our Friend.

    The Boys

  56. walkinhisgrace July 1, 2011 at 8:51 am #

    I love this Deborah! It made me smile! Thanks for stopping by and linking it to my linky party. Have a fabulous 4th!

  57. emily May 18, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

    one of my favorites!

  58. Angie June 9, 2012 at 11:53 am #

    This is the perfect post! Just what I needed to hear today. I love your writing. Thanks for sharing!

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