Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

A morning without coffee is like sleep. ~ unknown

I’m a very health conscious man, and as part of my fitness lifestyle I like to stick to the original four food groups; yes, those would be sugar, fat, caffeine and alcohol (not necessarily in that order). Like most health zealots, Deborah and I want to spread the Truth and in that spirit this post is about one of our passions, our favorite caffeine conveyance: coffee. Now, I’m not talking about the swill served up at Staryucks, or the blight on humanity provided at most restaurants. I’m talking about rich, dark, aromatic, smooth, fresh-ground coffee. Ladies, you don’t want this to be you:

Make your coffee this way and you can’t go wrong:

Start with a coffee press (sometimes called a French press, but as we’re patriotic at the Fairfield House we don’t cotton to such foreign terminology).  We use a Bodum 12 cup press. Okay, so Bodum is a Swiss company, but the Swiss are always neutral so I’m giving us a pass here.

For beans, we use the finest and richest available: Dunkin Donuts original whole bean coffee (sadly, I’m not getting paid to say that). Don’t skimp and don’t ever buy pre-ground coffee or you will suffer an eternity in purgatory. Perhaps that was a little extreme. Let’s just say that there is no comparison between fresh ground coffee and coffee that was ground in the distant past, perhaps sometime between the ice ages.

Since you’ll be showing excellent sense and an aversion to suffering, you’ll need a coffee grinder. You can spend as much or as little on a coffee grinder as you want, but at the end of the day they all turn coffee beans into little tiny pieces. I won’t waste your time discussing all the nuances of mills and burr grinders. We use a simple Kitchen Aid grinder because they seem to be bullet proof and the key bits come off for easy dishwashing. Also, it’s big; big enough to hold the one cup measure of beans we use for each pot of coffee (have I mentioned that we like coffee?).

I also use a precise measure to grind the beans, running the grinder for a fast count of 25; one count for each year of Deborah’s age. Ha, ha. I’m just kidding, that’s not true. Deborah is only 24.

By now you’ve leapt ahead and realized you’ll have to boil enough water to fill that coffee press. Pour the ground beans into the press. For a tasty change of pace you can toss in a teaspoon of cinnamon as well.

Coffee

Once the water boils, let it set for a moment. Water at a rolling boil is actually a little too hot. Pour the water in on top of the beans and stir it up. Set the press plunger on top and wait. Wait, wait, wait. In fact, wait three to five minutes and press the plunger slowly all the way down, pushing the grounds to the bottom. Enjoy your coffee. Black. The way God intended. Deborah adds cream, which is so very, very wrong; but what can I say–when you’re in love you forgive. Note, we’re talking about cream, which makes it a pardonable offense. Never ever use milk, half and half, or heaven forbid non-dairy creamer. Let’s face it, if you’re getting a significant portion of your dietary fat from coffee, you really need to rethink your dietary choices. The only other thing that belongs in coffee in my view is Irish whiskey (preferably Paddys); that way you can complete two of the four food groups in one go.  Just remember that sugar in coffee is the work of the devil and artificial sweeteners are simply not right. That’s all there is to it. Now where did I set my coffee cup down?

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14 Responses to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

  1. Emily Bertipaglia September 5, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    Good post!

  2. Dee September 6, 2011 at 6:07 am #

    You had me at Staryucks:) I am a bit ashamed to admit that I have never tried a press before. You performed your duty well, mission accomplished ~ I will get a press and try it today. Although, I should let you know…..I’m a tea drinker:(

  3. Parsley September 6, 2011 at 7:22 am #

    You do have this down to a science! I’ll be right over for a cup! I know you will forgive me for being a sissy and turning my coffee into a dessert because I’m a tea drinker first, then a coffee gal. Everyone has their faults 😉

    My Keurig coffee maker is always open to you should you visit us here in the south.

  4. lisa September 6, 2011 at 7:53 am #

    As a die hard coffee drinker…this post “perked me up” instantly!
    (Sorry…couldn’t resist)
    Loved the slide show…what a way to start your morning!
    Very clever…very informative…very funny.
    Perfect way to start a dreary, rainy morning. :)
    Have a wonderful week!

    Lisa xo
    Bilancia Designs

  5. Laura Ingalls Gunn September 6, 2011 at 8:55 am #

    Ah Thomas, now THIS was a way to start the week. Yes, I know it’s Tuesday.

    When I was in France earlier this year I drank some type of coffee everyday. Enjoyed every delicious sip. Back home, it’s back to tea.

    Deborah knows me well enough by now to tell you why it’s probably a good thing that I don’t drink coffee.

    But yes, a neutral press is best.

  6. Maggie September 6, 2011 at 9:37 am #

    I really don’t understand some people. Ones that don’t drink coffee and ones that don’t like to make coffee. I love both. In fact did you know that you can burn 125 calories in an hour from sitting and drinking coffee?! Now, that is my kind of exercise! I love the smell of freshly ground beans. Nothing better. I wish that they would bottle that as a room freshener. I use the 8 o’clock Columbian beans. The french press is the only way to go. Never a bad cup of coffee with that! My hubby likes his Bunn though. He’s an amateur! Love this post!

  7. Susan G September 6, 2011 at 10:57 am #

    Why, Hello Mr. Fairfield, nice to make your acquaintance!
    I love coffee, but I am afraid I am a WAWA with half n half and splenda (lite n sweet) girl.
    When we used to use 80’clock coffee at home, I drank at home coffee, but hubby switched over to maxwell house a handful of years back, and i can’t take it, I do not know if it is our water, or his ratio or what, but I just can’t stomach it. I like DnD coffee also.

    I am in total agreement with you on Staryucks…It tastes burnt or bitter. I do like their Chai tea though.

    Your post and video insert gave me a good chuckle on this overcast yucky day (again) here at the shore.
    Thanks, and happy coffee drinking!
    Susan (Hi Deb)

  8. 'D' September 6, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    I’ve used a coffee press for at least 24 years, love it !!!!! Then there is my husband who will make himself a pot of coffee and heat it up for the next three days. YUCK!!!!!!

    Hugs
    ‘D’

  9. Jennifer September 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    you’ve convinced me! i’ve always wondered about the coffee press; it’s now officially on my “to buy” list. :)

  10. Vicki September 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    Finally got here to say…sorry but I’ve never even liked the smell of coffee, let alone the taste. To each his, or her, own. But I stayed at a cousins house last fall and he loves his coffee press. Wouldn’t drink it an yother way. BTW, he did get me hooked on Chai Tea while I was there:) Enjoy your brew:)

  11. Suzanne in Atlanta September 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm #

    this makes we want to start drinking coffee……too funny post….the closest I get to coffee is coffee ice cream…..my favorite since I was a kid….but coffee I never touch the stuff….
    But somehow I might just start…You make it sound very very interesting….

  12. Laura @ the shorehouse September 8, 2011 at 12:30 am #

    I salivate just looking at the French press photo. I, too, am a coffee snob (and I mean that in a good way) who can’t even think of Badmucks. A little place in NJ opened by us that hand roasts beans on-site and I’ve taken to riding my bike 8 miles to pick up beans from them (lest I lose my parking spot at the beach. :-) Also I’ve perfected cold brewing iced coffee (thanks to an older NY Times recipe.) Life is good.

  13. Kim September 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    You do know your coffee! I love that you are a purist – no artificial anything! And Oh yum! Irish Whiskey!

  14. Dawn September 15, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

    LOL! I’m afraid to comment lest the coffee police come knocking! My coffee usually comes from McDonald’s or a jar of instant that’s been in the cabinet for…3 years? Of course when I do drink it there’s more sugar and milk in it than coffee so I guess it really doesn’t matter. Just sign me Anonymous!

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